Inflow / Outflow: A Rant From Your Hustleman

What's good Family! Your Hustleman is doing well, it's coming into fall but it was hot as hell today. I recently had a chance to go through Adamsville and Bankhead and that's the pic up there. I haven't been through there in a while and not much has changed (does the hood ever really change?). It was slow motion on my grind today but I still came out fabulous. So if you all don't mind I need to get some things off my chest and writing it is always a good release for me, so if you're with it here we go.

~(WARNING!!! Rant Coming Up)~ I can't call it Fam. It seems as though over the last 2 months the "associate" energy around me has been crazy. Some people left, others have come in. It's no big deal though because I only really have 4 friends, so the associates are no big deal. It does bother me though that some of them don't have the common courtesy to at least say, "Hey Shai, fuck you!" I know I can be an asshole, but really, I'm focused and play time is over. Now these associates have been both male and female but I only feel like writing about the females, it's more interesting, trust me.

Example one, take for instance Mz Hershey. Ex-porno star from Cali going through some hard times. As my associate slash homegirl, I figured at least I could speak with her every so often and try to keep her spirits up. But no, sorry, not going to help you with the money, I have my own home and business to take care of. Besides she has like 4 dudes she messes with just for that purpose. I was just there for moral support and to try to drop some jewels (knowledge) on her so she won't get discouraged and start going backwards. She was always a woman of her word. If she said something she did it. But wouldn't you know it... rest of the story short, I haven't heard from her in about 3 weeks. I made attempts to call and was met with, "I'll call you back later. I promise." That call back never happened. I charged it to the game, maybe she was possibly tying to do some slick shit and set your Hustleman up for something and it didn't work out. Or perhaps I wasn't there for her in the capacity she felt I should have been (whatever that was). All good though, you know I keep it moving.

Next up is my "maybe baby mama". This is a good one... I'll give you the short version. Supposedly she had my child (a baby boy) a little over 3 years ago. Now as hard as I've tried to see this kid, it never happened. All I wanted was to see him, if there was a resemblance then we could do the blood test thing, feel me? I know she was out there with other dudes, she was never really my woman so hey, I'm not mad at that.

Now at first we used to verbally fight over the phone about this issue; she was back and forth between Georgia and Florida at the time. And still to this day I've never seen this kid. I've never heard him over the phone. Occasionally "maybe baby mama" and I cross paths and since I made an effort to pretty much ignore her (mainly because I think she's a psycho bitch), instead of the look of hate she used to give, she smiles, waves and says "Hi!". Then she gets in the SUV with her girlfriend (and I do mean girlfriend). Funny thing is, I probably see her about 2 to 3 times a month and I never see her with a kid. Hmmm... Now, I never wanted to be a bum ass dude when it came to my little big heads but come on Fam! Does she even really have a kid? I stopped feeding into that shit a year ago and of course now she wants to make nice and make herself seen. Have to blame myself here, should have chosen a more stable and intelligent woman to lay down with. Lesson learned.

Next female in question... My current girl and I are on rocky terms. Together almost 2 years (2 years on the 11th of this month)and we have come to the conclusion that although we have love for one another, we're really not "in" love with one another. I overstand (over, not under) that and I respect that. The thing in this situation though is the fact that she's really just getting to know herself. So as that happens I know she will change, and the things she's looking for in life will change. I'm trying to help her along since I've been there and done that, but I really feel as though some of her friends are really stunting her growth. All her female friends have issues and drama. Relationship drama, familiy drama, self-esteem issues, you get my point. And she's the one they turn too. She has answers for everyone but herself. We live together and I have love for her so I'm here for her, at least until she makes up her mind on what she wants.

I usually don't like things like this up in the air cause I'm a planner, I like to think a few moves ahead, but with matters of the heart and with emotions involved, it makes it a little more difficult to move around. So here I am in relationship limbo... how the hell did this happen?

So as the time for the beginning of my new business venture draws near, things around your Hustleman are in a whirlwind. It's cool though, I'm centered and standing like a mighty oak (although I am a little annoyed). It's all good though. When one thing leaves, another thing takes it's place. It's amazing the distractions that come when you're down to stay focused on something. It's kinda funny actually. Ah well.. enough rant from me. Be well Family and stay up. I'll be back at you soon.

P.S. Shots out to Mz Nici Nicole - I see you babygirl, things will get better, be patient. Better to have found out now rather than later. You know I'm here for ya. And to Mz Yolanda - Glad to see that smile back on your face now that your man is back from his bid. You held him down during his weakest moment, that's some real grown woman shit right there. I respect that greatly, much love to ya both.