Sunday Reflection: My Worst Critic

Well, well. What’s good Fam? Thought I would make this post a Sunday Reflection post since I haven’t made one of these in awhile. First let me catch you up on what’s been going on and then stand-by for a little ranting LOL.

First off, trying to get some black people to do things they said they were going to do is a pain in the ass. I’ve been pushing to get those black entrepreneur interviews going for you all but as yet, no one has actually sat down to talk with me. I mean WTF?! It’s free advertising and it also gives you a chance to inspire people and possible make a few connections. Granted, my blog isn’t that popular in itself, but they can always link back to the interview on their own website or print them out to add to their portfolio. It’s all good though, I’m still working around a few things so as the saying goes, “Effort always pays off.”

After a couple months of struggling to copy over an old book and lace it with some comments and perspective from yours truly, my second book which I nick-named “The Little Book” is finished and in the polish up phase. This book will be free and downloadable by invite. Of course the Blog-Fam will be able to get it; I will do my best to have this up for you within the next two weeks.

Business wise things are fabulous although this past week was a little slow. You know I often sit and people watch when I’m on those streets and it never ceases to amaze me how depressed a lot of us are. We walk with our heads down and a big frown on our face. Life can beat you down pretty good if you let it; and a lot of us just let it. I am often bombarded with stories from people who just feel comfortable talking to me about their problems; even though they don’t know me all that well. Hearing all of these depressing stories starts to weigh on you after awhile but I do my best to offer sound suggestions. I’m a man of the people, what can I say?

My Hustle partner New York has been in and out this week, I think he’s going through what I’m going through. BURN-OUT LOL! Yeah, it’s catching up to me pretty fast, it’s at times like this I slow down a little and try to just relax and it was during this relaxation that I came to a realization, something I definitely had to reflect on.

Like some people I am my own worst critic. No one can ever beat my down as much as I do myself. I think a lot about areas in my life that just aren’t up to standard and that need improvement; it’s constant, day in and day out. On the other side of that coin is the fact that in order for anyone to move forward, you have to be content (not necessarily happy-but definitely satisfied) with where you are first. Don’t misread me, I’m very grateful with where I’m at in my life now although I can’t help to feel that there are a few huge pieces missing.

A big chunk of that revolves around that fact that for the first time in years I really feel alone. The God, a man who I consider a brother to me is now happily married and no longer in the state of Georgia.

My other “brother” is married now too. We’re not as close was we used to be but if it came down to it, that’s a man I say I can trust and would have no problems doing so. My circle of friends is so small it’s just a dot. I have trust issues, but then again, don’t we all?

Although my Ex and I still live together and are good friends, she has her own life to live so I give her all the space she needs. Since I’ve eased up on the dating (actually going out) I pretty much have settled into a go Hustle and come home routine. I fuck around on the computer, watch movies and hold a few phone conversations with ladies who have sparked my interest. All in all it’s a pretty mundane life right now; which has really killed my inspiration to write.

It's like I'm in a sort of isolation that until recently, I didn't realize I was in. Funny thing is I functional very well in isolation. I've never been one of those people that constantly needs someone around, but (you saw the "but" coming didn't you?) I can't say that if I had to choose this is what I would want.

So no need to complain (won’t change anything anyway), just time to change it up a little bit. After all, what’s life if you don’t LIVE it, right? The more you give to life the more you get out of it. So your Hustleman is lacing up the bootstraps and moving on to doing things that I enjoy more often. I for one hate routines, which is one of the reasons I can’t work for someone else. So my current life routine is just not sitting well with my soul, feel me?

This post turned out to be a little longer than I planned and I know it was all over the place; if you were able to sit through it I give you my thanks. Be good Fam and as always, be blessed and keep your head up out there. You never know what’s around the next corner if you don’t go look.